Here at LNN we have discovered that there has been a fix on the recent Cook County Jail Union Chief Steward Election. Our findings have revealed that our founder, Jail Guard Leinweber used Russian collusion and his computer hacking skills to make sure he did not win the election.
Leinweber was very concerned when his attempt to mock the election and make fun of the entire process was not taken in the manner he intended. It was rumored that he might actually get some votes. This really scared the shit out of that Jailer! "I was like oh Shit! What the fuck! People are voting for me?" stated the disillusioned drunk officer.
"I might actually have to come up with good ideas to fight this administration? FUCK, I mean I know they have the intelligence equivalent to that of a mentally challenged koala bear, but I can't handle the stress at this time."
Leinweber was then seen leaving the area. We followed him and watched as he used his laptop along with a VPN and a TOR browser along with hacking a nearby WIFI connection. He then proceeded to contact his "Metal Connections" in the Ukraine. From there we lost contact, but we can only assume what happened next.
Download a PDF of a recent issue, or subscribe below to receive our latest articles in your inbox.
Sign up to get each issue delivered straight to your inbox.
Have a story idea for us? Would you like to write for us?
Send us a message and let us know what you are thinking about.
If customers can’t find it, it doesn’t exist. Clearly list and describe the services you offer. Also, be sure to showcase a premium service.
Having a big sale, on-site celebrity, or other event? Be sure to announce it so everybody knows and gets excited about it.
Are your customers raving about you on social media? Share their great stories to help turn potential customers into loyal ones.
Running a holiday sale or weekly special? Definitely promote it here to get customers excited about getting a sweet deal.
Have you opened a new location, redesigned your shop, or added a new product or service? Don't keep it to yourself, let folks know.
Customers have questions, you have answers. Display the most frequently asked questions, so everybody benefits.